There has always been something inside of me that enjoyed the art of writing. As a little girl, I would spend hours up at night with my little red boombox & burned CDs writing my heart out about unrequited love, secret admirers, cheerleading, and the beautiful woman I wanted to grow up to be. I had about 5 notebooks of just poems, notebooks of journaling my young middle school experiences, & I had even started writing a book that was completely out-of-order… I knew the ending, the beginning, & I even had a life changing climax that would go somewhere in between all of that. It was a story about love, loss, and the fantasy that true love & fairy tales really did exist. My imagination & my fascination of marriage, being a mom, and having a husband who adored me was what I would write about. I got lost in my dreams, in this future reality that I just absolutely knew God would give to me. I was so certain, I was guna do things in order… my husband would find me, realize I was his dream girl, fall in love with me, marry me, buy a house, get pregnant, paint the nursery, and have the best career that would be flexible when it was time to take time off for my new baby. I was definitely a little girl who idolized Disney movies and disney princesses. In point to all of this.. is my heart hasn’t changed. I am truly a hopeless romantic who reads her horoscope looking for some kind of sign that “The One” will be finding me soon to take me away and live this imagined reality I have only dreamed about. I pray night and day for my future husband, for my lover and best friend.. that he didn’t get lost on his way to my house….
For me, writing is how I express that life just hasn’t turned out how this little girl wrote about at 13 and 14 years old… in fact nothing in my stories has made it off the pages. I have experienced more heartbreak and confusion than that little girl could ever prepare herself for and now… I am going to use my ability to write to share the raw truth about being a dreamer, a lover, and a writer with a big imagination. Nothing is impossible.. especially with Christ.. but I have definitely taken a lot of detours, ran into some traffic, and made some wrong turns along the way… God never let me go… He never let go of that little girl’s hand … & I hope that my blogs of my personal life experiences, life lessons, testimonies and transparency will help any little girl or woman who might feel alone, forgotten, rejected, confused, and hopelessly wishing on every 11:11.
xo, sabrina
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